Christmas crap? Christmas crap.
A few years back when Page and I first bought our house in Raleigh, one of our relatives said that for Christmas we should be asking for “crap.” A homeowner can never have enough holiday-themed stuff, apparently. So onto our lists it went and eight tiny reindeer later, we were buried under so many candles, serving dishes, Santa salt/pepper shakers, and, well, tiny stuffed reindeer, that we could barely see our homeless-looking five foot Christmas tree from Lowe’s.
Almost five years later (!) we’ve accumulated even more crap if you can believe it. And you know what? It’s intoxicating. I collect limited edition Yankee Candle scents like Ford lusts over Thomas’ friend Elizabeth. And if you don’t get that, then you’re reading the wrong blog…or you don’t have psycho, train-loving toddlers.
Now, onto the crap…
1. As anyone with a nearly three-year-old can attest, the words and sentences are really starting to take shape. And while it’s exciting, it’s also hilarious. Here are a few beauties from Ford this past week:
We have been receiving nightly deliveries from the “poopy S man.” Needless to say, the delivery men/women are thrilled to be hearing that upon dropping off their billionth package of the day.
I just got an iPad…and Ford is obsessed. Except…he doesn’t quite know exactly how to pronounce it. He drops this on me the other night: “Daddy, I want to watch Thomas on your eye patch!” Really, Ford, on my eye patch? No sweat, let me just adjust it…OK, perfect. Go for it.
Relax. He tells me and Page to relax all the time now. Sometimes it works, but most of the time it doesn’t…
“Ford, nice job with dinner.”
“Relax.”
“Ford, time for bed.”
“Relax.”
Who am I kidding. It works all the time. Impossible not to laugh at him. Which, yep, you guessed it, eggs him on even more. Now when Page gets annoyed with me, thinking I’m hilarious, I tell her to relax. Which, yep, you guessed it, eggs her on not at all.
2. Cool spot to take the kids for the holidays? Sure Mall Santa works and so does ice skating in Raleigh, but check out the Christmas Tree showdown, or whatever its called, out it front of the DPAC in Durham. It’s like running out of a tunnel onto a football field, except there is no tunnel and the adoring fans are dead trees. So, yeah, nothing like that. Bottom line, the lights are cool. Not sure why I decided to take a picture of them on front of the sketchiest tree (unleash dogs organization – tree was covered in chains and surrounded by fencing…yeeeeeah), but here goes.
3. Spanish for Fun Christmas Show tonight. A total cluster as expected, but not as clusterish as it could have been. The songs were great and the kids danced their faces off. Speaking of faces, check out these kiddos below. Big shout out to Gavin, who kept Ford in a lather all night, running wind sprints around undoubtedly annoyed parents. As for Cal, he executed drive-by after drive-by on people’s plates. Seriously, DO NOT put your plate down around this kid. Orange slices and sugar cookies stood absolutely no chance tonight.
And here’s one with Santa, Rudolph and one of Santa’s elves.
Santa time tomorrow for me. So nervous. Is that stupid? I was good until like 10 minutes ago when Page casually drops on me to be sure to really sell the costume, because if Ford and Cal find out its me then that could really mess them up. Alrighty then. Thanks, Mom. On the bright side the good folks at SFF bought me a new Santa suit. Pretty sure they could sense my anxiety in having to wear pants that were essentially knickers and a wig that looked like their toddler room had its way with it. Wish me luck.
Happy holidays, everybody.
