Ford is right smack plop in the middle of what is commonly referred to as, “The Terrible Twos.” And he’s good at it. Very good. And as most of you know a two-year old’s favorite word, by a mile is “NO!” Ford is no exception. In fact, we like to think he’s a bit of a prodigy in this area. Other parents may brag about their early potty trainer, a child who displays an early affinity for classical music, or perhaps their little budding chef. Ford has shown no promise in any of those areas. He does, however, excel at “NO”ing.
It’s definitely his go-to response pretty much any time you ask him anything. And he doesn’t use just the one word. He’ll generally start with a “NO!” and then tack on a phrase from the question just to be clear that he is, in fact, disagreeing with the specific question you asked. Every now and then you can catch him and he’ll correct himself when he realizes you’ve actually asked an answer he’d like to answer in the affirmative though.
“Ford, do you want to eat dinner?
“NO eat dinner!”
“Ford, how about we stop poking Cal in the eye with a hot poker?”
“NO and stop and Cal and a hot poker!”
“Ford, you want some ice cream?”
“NO ass cream!” (pause… wheels are turning… breaks out in ear-to-ear grin) “YES! Yes ass cream!”
And the intelligence level of his “NO”s has really ratcheted up now that he pays attention to the radio when we drive. Based purely on the fact that I’m too lazy to channel surf behind the wheel, I’m pretty much 100% an NPR listener in the car. So when Ford and I have a lull in conversation he just tunes into whatever WUNC is broadcasting at the moment and disagrees at random. Just the other day during our commute my little two-year old dissenter was shouting out from his carseat anything from, “NO debt ceiling!” to “NO Hosni Mubarak!” And even with the lisp I think he still managed a better pronunciation than the news reader. He even put a creative twist to a White House mention with, “I don’t wanna go to da White House!”
Being met with constant negativity can be frustrating at times, sure. But personally I’ve chosen to use this to my advantage.
“Ford, does this dress make me look fat?”
“NO dress look fat!”
“Ford, should I go for a run today?”
“NO go for a run today!”
“Ford, should we play rough with Cal?”
“NO…”… (stops… realizes this is similar to the ass cream situation)… “YES play rough with Cal!”
Oh well… you can’t win ‘em all.
